As you all have read I have been dealing with weight issue, most of my life. I was never thin in middle school or high school (1 year when I lost a lot of weight).
This morning Tim had to witness my emotional breakdown once again. I just want answers and can never get them. As some of you know I really don't eat anything "bad" or large amounts (only on special occasions). These are my questions, my thoughts, my statements:
- Why can't I ever loose it all when I mostly eat healthy everyday?
- I don't ever eat anything fried
- I don't eat candy (maybe it would equal 3-4 bars a year)
- I don't eat chips (maybe 1 or 2 times a year)
- I don't eat ice cream (maybe 1 or 2 times a year)
- I'm not a big drinker
- I only drink water and occasional diet soda (sometimes less than 2 a month)
- I do love coffee - maybe that is my issue, but I only have 1 cup a day (2 points with cream)
- I keep track of what I eat - in my yellow polka dotted tablet (that goes every where with me)
I'm sorry for ranting, but I need to leave it out some where.
Also, why does a new year always make everyone want to start loosing weight?
Does anyone have a trigger? I have found mine and it's sad to say but it's true:
- When I go home to my mom's, dad,s or mother-in-laws house. When I am there I tend to want to eat and eat and eat. Why is that? Is that where the problem began? Maybe this is an issue that I need to resolve. Even though I go with good intentions, they always fall through.
4 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this. I know it is on your mind a lot as I've been reading your blog for a little while now. I really wish I had answers for you. I have always been thin and been able to eat what I want but in the last 2 years I've been gaining weight that I never had before. It's on my mind all the time and it's not even a huge issue yet. So I can only imagine what you go through. I agree life's not fair and I think we all need to accept who we are but that's not as easy as it sounds.
If it makes you feel any better my mental break downs are always about my house. We live in a tiny house with plans to build a "nice" house someday. I thought someday would have come by now. I had a breakdown today too and re-arranged my living room. (Yea it will only buy me a few days of sanity)
Oh sweetie! I am so sorry. I know you struggle with this each day. You are the healthiest eater I know. You do a great job of settin a good, healthy example for your children. As much as it sucks, sometimes, it comes down to genetics. Even with your stuggle, you are a beautiful woman. You look great! But that beauty is only skin deep- the real beauty is that beauty inside you. The one that makes you a fabulous friend. SO much that I keep pesting you to move close to me :) You have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I have ever met. You would do anything for another person. You care so deeply and go out of your way for your family and friend. You have real beauty that those junk-a-holic skinny minis will never have. That is the real beauty that got you a wondrul husbad who loves you more than anything in this world, two beautiful children who are amazing in every way, and more friends than anyone else I know! While all of that doesn't help when you look in the mirror- that is the Aleisha we all see. We don't see what you see. We see true beauty and a woman who is HOT!
Man, this all sounds too too familiar! Cept for the fact you have eaten healthier than I have been (I've been totally slacking the last few months!) I totally can get what you're saying with the whole, eating healthy and not losing or even gaining! It's depressing and frustrating! Especially to see those who eat whatever the heck they want and look like super models. Darn metabolisms or whatever it's chalked up to. It's NOT fair and it sucks!
Just know that I think you are beautiful! You motivate me and I thank you for that!
Weight issues always bite..big time. I've been in the same boat. Some months I can keep some pounds off, others it seems like I look at something and gain weight.
Have you had a physical lately? Maybe just maybe it could be your thyroid? Stick with it though...you look great!!
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