I had my annual mental breakdown this morning. Does that ever happen to anyone else?
As you all have read I have been dealing with weight issue, most of my life. I was never thin in middle school or high school (1 year when I lost a lot of weight).
This morning Tim had to witness my emotional breakdown once again. I just want answers and can never get them. As some of you know I really don't eat anything "bad" or large amounts (only on special occasions). These are my questions, my thoughts, my statements:
- Why can't I ever loose it all when I mostly eat healthy everyday?
- I don't ever eat anything fried
- I don't eat candy (maybe it would equal 3-4 bars a year)
- I don't eat chips (maybe 1 or 2 times a year)
- I don't eat ice cream (maybe 1 or 2 times a year)
- I'm not a big drinker
- I only drink water and occasional diet soda (sometimes less than 2 a month)
- I do love coffee - maybe that is my issue, but I only have 1 cup a day (2 points with cream)
- I keep track of what I eat - in my yellow polka dotted tablet (that goes every where with me)
I just don't understand why I have to struggle with this issue. It's just not fair. I know, I know life's not fair, but give me a break. Tim says that I'm healthy and should just be happy, but I'm not happy. I so want to keep it off forever. I guess he is right in a way. I am healthier than most people. But, why can those skinny m
innies eat so much unhealthy crap and keep it off, I just don't get it. Why not reward those who watch all the time.
I'm sorry for ranting, but I need to leave it out some where.
Also, why does a new year always make everyone want to start loosing weight?
Does anyone have a trigger? I have found mine and it's sad to say but it's true:
- When I go home to my mom's, dad,s or mother-in-laws house. When I am there I tend to want to eat and eat and eat. Why is that? Is that where the problem began? Maybe this is an issue that I need to resolve. Even though I go with good intentions, they always fall through.